Day 13…fetal ball and all


I couldn’t do a full body pic today because I can barely function. Not because of my knees; they are actually doing pretty well.

No, I am in a fetal ball because I am angry. Yep. This might not be a surprise to students of psychology,  but it’s really surprising when you are living it. I couldn’t put my finger on precisely one thing but it’s really sweeping through me in waves. 

And what comes on the heels of the anger? Fear. (Yes I know it’s inverse Yoda logic but don’t ask my brain to tell the difference between fear and anger right now).

It’s all intertwined in my head; anger over all the things that haven’t worked out in my life and I’ve smothered the feelings with food. Fear that I can’t rise to action in the way anger wants me to and that sends me into depression.

So this is where awareness and faith come in. And pivoting away from lizard brain into my higher self (all religions have different names for it, but I like the simplicity of calling it my higher self) comes in. 

So if I were to break down the advances I’ve made in the past two weeks they would look a lot like this (my pagan friends will enjoy this analogy)…

Earth: the food that we ingest comes from the earth. It’s an earth that has been stripped bare by high yield farming and agribusiness so to get all the nutrients I need I have to supplement. Yes I eat organic whenever I can. Here is what my journey has offered in the form of supplements:

1. Protein Shake from Dr. Retzler, a well known naturopath here in Portland. You can find her website and the reasoning behind her blend here:

http://hormonesynergy.com/
I have this for breakfast every day, blended with probiotics, blueberries, leafy greens, and chlorophyll

2. Stamets7. For a full background on the “mushroom guy” it’s easiest to watch his Ted talk and go from there. 

3. A multivitamin that includes magnesium and b vitamins. 

4. My diet is changing because I am starting to listen to my body. The 5:2 plan stressed me out so much, I am now trying intermittent fasting (there are several versions, but I only eat during a window of time each day, from 11 to 7). 

Air

This is a tough one for me; my allergies make it difficult to get clean air during high pollen count days. But I am getting allergy shots to boost my immune system and I have a hepa filter on my furnace and a CPAP to make sure I can breathe through the night.

Fire

Sunlight is a toughie. I am working on putting full spectrum bulbs in my fixtures and I get out in the sunlight for an hour a day.

Water

Luckily, Portland does not yet add fluoride to the water supply. However I have started drinking alkaline water, mostly because I am showing many of the chronic issues associated with acidosis.

Spirit

This is where we get a little woo-woo. I don’t want to step on anyone’s spiritual toes, so I don’t expect anyone to follow in my footsteps. But what has really fascinated me is the way science keeps peeling away layers of the spiritual onion and coming up with some interesting results. One thing I am working with is  Pulsed Electromagnetic Frequencies. The theory is that we spend so much time indoors we don’t get enough of these frequencies. I have experienced much more rapid healing in my body as a result.

And now you know the best way to unwind from an emotional fetal ball.

Teach. Share what you’ve learned with others. And from that space of higher perspective you just might get your mojo back.

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