Day 16…pow!


So after a couple days of resting I feel so much better and ready to tackle another week. I don’t generally cut myself any slack in life and then I rebel for long periods of time. So this time, when I started feeling massive amounts of resistance, I just let myself take a short break.

Interestingly enough, this didn’t affect my food plan. My weekly splurge event still took place as scheduled (sushi for lunch, then dinner of homemade cabbage rolls and mashed potatoes and 1/2 a piece of chocolate silk pie with my friend Sarah). But the rest of the time was pretty much as normal except I sat on the couch and watched videos with my knee elevated, watching my anger.

And then I got the job I have been interviewing for!

So my friends I have to take a semi hiatus from this blog. In the interest of life balance I will still continue occasional pics and I will still continue my program but my main focus needs to be on my new job. 

So exciting!!!

Day 13…fetal ball and all


I couldn’t do a full body pic today because I can barely function. Not because of my knees; they are actually doing pretty well.

No, I am in a fetal ball because I am angry. Yep. This might not be a surprise to students of psychology,  but it’s really surprising when you are living it. I couldn’t put my finger on precisely one thing but it’s really sweeping through me in waves. 

And what comes on the heels of the anger? Fear. (Yes I know it’s inverse Yoda logic but don’t ask my brain to tell the difference between fear and anger right now).

It’s all intertwined in my head; anger over all the things that haven’t worked out in my life and I’ve smothered the feelings with food. Fear that I can’t rise to action in the way anger wants me to and that sends me into depression.

So this is where awareness and faith come in. And pivoting away from lizard brain into my higher self (all religions have different names for it, but I like the simplicity of calling it my higher self) comes in. 

So if I were to break down the advances I’ve made in the past two weeks they would look a lot like this (my pagan friends will enjoy this analogy)…

Earth: the food that we ingest comes from the earth. It’s an earth that has been stripped bare by high yield farming and agribusiness so to get all the nutrients I need I have to supplement. Yes I eat organic whenever I can. Here is what my journey has offered in the form of supplements:

1. Protein Shake from Dr. Retzler, a well known naturopath here in Portland. You can find her website and the reasoning behind her blend here:

http://hormonesynergy.com/
I have this for breakfast every day, blended with probiotics, blueberries, leafy greens, and chlorophyll

2. Stamets7. For a full background on the “mushroom guy” it’s easiest to watch his Ted talk and go from there. 

3. A multivitamin that includes magnesium and b vitamins. 

4. My diet is changing because I am starting to listen to my body. The 5:2 plan stressed me out so much, I am now trying intermittent fasting (there are several versions, but I only eat during a window of time each day, from 11 to 7). 

Air

This is a tough one for me; my allergies make it difficult to get clean air during high pollen count days. But I am getting allergy shots to boost my immune system and I have a hepa filter on my furnace and a CPAP to make sure I can breathe through the night.

Fire

Sunlight is a toughie. I am working on putting full spectrum bulbs in my fixtures and I get out in the sunlight for an hour a day.

Water

Luckily, Portland does not yet add fluoride to the water supply. However I have started drinking alkaline water, mostly because I am showing many of the chronic issues associated with acidosis.

Spirit

This is where we get a little woo-woo. I don’t want to step on anyone’s spiritual toes, so I don’t expect anyone to follow in my footsteps. But what has really fascinated me is the way science keeps peeling away layers of the spiritual onion and coming up with some interesting results. One thing I am working with is  Pulsed Electromagnetic Frequencies. The theory is that we spend so much time indoors we don’t get enough of these frequencies. I have experienced much more rapid healing in my body as a result.

And now you know the best way to unwind from an emotional fetal ball.

Teach. Share what you’ve learned with others. And from that space of higher perspective you just might get your mojo back.

Day 12…kicking and screaming

image

Annoyance is a mild word for what I feel right now. My internal resistance is kicking in big time. I don’t want to do any of it. But I showed up at the gym and I felt better for it.

Making peace with my hunger was colossally difficult. I’ve been trying EFT as a way to get through some of my barriers. It’s kind of intense. I am not sure if I can do this but I don’t see staying this way for another forty years. Onward.

Felt hollow and drained after, but I got through my day.

 

Day 11…playing catch up

imageI am having an unintentional phone fast.

I am also on the fasting day. I keep telling myself it is hard but it’s really not. Hunger is really not so bad. Traditionally I have felt hunger to be my enemy but I am trying to befriend it as a natural part of the ebb and flow.

So today as I go through my day and plan to Keep my caloric intake under 500 calories, I will try to let go and enjoy the freedom of time and the burst of extra energy I get

Day 9…tell more friends and be generally annoying


I don’t know if you can tell from this photo but I feel like I am starting to get noticeable results. Keeping a positive attitude in the face of a re  injury was really tough, but I gritted my teeth and stuck it out and I am walking again. 

Part of that is the immediate relief from pain that I am getting from the WBV and PEMF treatments I have been doing.

And part of my joy is that despite everything I didn’t stop. Persistence is everything.

But I am wearing a knee brace. Just in case…

Day 8…bring my friends along for the ride


So one of the ways to stay on track is to build up a supportive community around your efforts. I already have a head start at Bodyquirks because of the supportive and encouraging environment.

But people have been watching my progress on Facebook and asking me about Whole Body Vibration and Pulsed Electromagnetic Fields. The easiest way is to just bring them in and let them experience it for themselves. So this week I have introduced a few to this studio. It’s great bringing my friends along for the ride!

Day 7 …just a little more dialed in

The healing continues! I totally get that you are probably bored with my progress right now. After the excitement of the first week of a new habit, the reality of the daily requirement of showing up can get a little irritating.

This is where measuring and setting micro goals can help…

yes it only burned 50 calories

This is where “reality” starts to set in. Not my strong suit. I am more of an initiator and enthusiast; it takes a special kind of attitude for me to settle into a habit, and look for signs of progress. Let’s face it I am easily discouraged by very long project arcs. Which is probably why I am where I am and why I need to keep this blog.

Accountability. Discipline. Persistence. But what I have found when studying the greatest creative and successful people is that they find little ways around their own self-sabotaging habits. This is the critical path; finding out what works for YOU, not for some abstract person practicing the seven habits or some such manual for life. Instead, it’s vital that you take that guidance and make it personal.

How can I show up every day and not make excuses? For me, writing about this makes me show up. Keeping a visual record of my body that reminds me I am headed in the right direction. Meeting like-minded people along my path helps too. 

But the biggest thing I am going to try to implement is a type of gaming theory that fascinates me. Why do people game? That’s a big question…but why do I find games satisfying? Because the goals are short, resolve quickly in time, and give you a short burst of satisfaction when achieved. 

One of my theories about day people is that we need more satisfaction out of our daily lives than other people. And when we don’t get that hit from work or friends or life in general, we turn to food to give us the most primal feeling of accomplishment. The more your life narrows (whether through pain, injury, trauma, etc), the more you turn back to simple things to bolster your day.

So how do I create that every day?

That’s what I am going to work on this week. 

Day 6 …amazing recovery time


So after reshredding my knee yesterday I thought I’d be out of commission for at least a week. But instead of letting the pain defeat me I came back into Bodyquirks and asked them what would work for me right after a re- injury. 

One of the best parts of this studio is the warmth and kindness of the owners. No matter what place you are at, they have such a welcoming atmosphere…

Instead of standing on the machines, Tara sat me on the machines on a low setting.

And then she introduced me to a PEMF session. This is a fascinating method for helping the body heal more quickly. You can find out more about how this works at their site here: http://www.bodyquirks.com/

I experienced little bursts of gentle pins and needles along all the injured muscles. And when I got up my leg felt so light and airy. But more importantly I felt immediate relief from pain and was more mobile… I know how much of a difference this made because I have sprained my ankle and knee many times and I have never had such a rapid recovery rate.

Bodyquirks is hosting an information session Saturday, June 18th from 5:30 to 6:30 pm. 

Day 5; hitting my first wall


Oh yeah. What a day. I was so stoked because I was making real headway with my knee and then I twisted my ankle again. On a stone on the sidewalk.  

I am in a lot of pain right now. I want to get right back on the horse but it’s daunting.

Problem is, I can’t find a knee brace that will fit. Because I am fat. But in order to get thin I need to stabilize my knee. Which I can’t do because I am too fat for knee braces. 


Well at least I know I can get better from here, even though this is a setback.